IS THIS A TEST THAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH IN LIFE?

im so fucking stress with everything surround me.e.g. family,boyf,school,money issue&myself..ayah's at home sick,high fever and im afraid it effects his heart when he got to know bout my school thingy.boyf make things difficult for me as if i feels there's no connection between us when he said,'honey,love you!'..i just feels that it doesn't come from his heart.money?i need to pay my last bills by next week and start paying my 'hutang'..and myself?im having back my old illness and i have to bear the pain cause i dont wish to go to the hospital and waste money.yesterday,a sleepless night for me la seyy..keep thinking and i cry to my sleep.&also my class teacher been waiting for me to fcuk her upside down then she'll keep her mouth shut!irritating Myanmar!!enough already with school thingy!

boyf,
why do i feel everything seem to change soo much?where do i go wrong in this relationship of ours?tell me!..you seem to be a different guy that i love.you are no more the guy that use to pamper me even on the fone,now everything i do seem so wrong in your eyes.i cant touch you whenever i like now,i cant pamper with you like i use to,i cant crack jokes just to make us both laugh till our eyes tears.NO MORE!but why everything change?sometimes i feel that you are force into saying 'i love you'.but why this stupid sudden feeling appear in me all bout you.am i not the girl that you love now?or have i change?but in what way?is this how all guy attitude towards a girl?they'll give a girl all their attention and care when they've yet to get the girl and change just as the get what they want.if you were to read my post,i hope you do abit of thinking ok?i dont wish to go on crying behind you back:'(

&i love you more today<3